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Cheating Guy Learns The Hard Way You Shouldn’t Believe Everything People Text

By Talan Torriero
July 30, 2014

If I received a text from an unknown number from someone claiming to be pregnant with my child, I’d probably be at least a little bit skeptical that I was actually a father-to-be.

However, I also don’t spend my nights marauding around town inseminating the masses, so I’d know something was up.

Unfortunately, the person on the receiving end of this text doesn’t have a great deal of practice when it comes to monogamous relationships.

I don’t know if the person behind this prank sent this message to as many numbers as possible or if they simply got lucky. I don’t know why they named the random number “Marco.” I don’t even know if any of this happened.

But what I do know is that the end result feels so incredibly satisfying that none of that really matters.

There are steps you can take not to knock up a random side piece, and they start with not having one in the first place. Hopefully this guy learned his lesson.

He should say F*ck more.

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Is her name Sarah, too?

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I’m no expert, but something tells me his next step shouldn’t be having more sex

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“Your name for his middle name.” Smooth.

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Of course he still lives with his mom. Of course he does.

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Shopping for baby clothes would probably be more fun

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This guy is a regular Ashton Kutcher

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Well, I can think of one reason

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I bet he’s at an Olive Garden